In 11 years I’m going to be the mother of a teenage girl. My name is Katia Fisher I’m 19 years old and my daughter’s name is Mitzy. If you haven’t notice I had my baby girl at 15, she was born in Denver, Colorado. I never planned to have a baby so soon even though I knew i wanted to be a mom at some point. Adan is the lucky man that took my virginity and father of Mitzy. My mom had a boyfriend and his friend invited us to one of his friend’s birthday party, it was at a restaurant in Glenwood Springs, Colorado that him and I met. When I think about that day I start to realize how creepy that situation was. Everyone was dancing and Adan was just watching me so I stopped and went to sit outside to wait for my mom so we could leave. After five minutes of sitting Adan came out and asked if he could sit down I said sure. We talked for a bit before we left, he had told me i should keep dancing and that my name was beauty and lied about his age twice. My mom took my cousin and me home and then went back to the party. Two days later he came with some other friends to my house.
The relationship I had with my mom wasn’t great ever since she started dating the man she was with during that time, I just always felt she was a little to crazy about him and didn’t pay the attention she should have paid to me or my sister. Even though I don’t want to blame my mom for anything I wish she could have taken the time to pick me up after my rehearsals for a play I was in. Adan would want to go, or be sent by my mom to pick me up in his car or her’s. Thats when we started talking, he treated me so nicely and was making me see how my mom was wrong but he liked picking me up and then, he started saying he wanted to be my boyfriend. Adan would sweet talk me all the time and after 6 weeks we called each other a couple. My mom didn’t like it and she would be told that I had probably already had sex with him, and that he wasn’t a good guy. Of course I didnt listen to her and I hadn’t had sex with him, I kept telling myself that I could handle it. After some time of dating we “broke up” because my mom was freaking out but we would still see each other and thats when it came to him to sneak into my moms house when she was gone and after one time he did it, I wasn’t able to stop him. For one I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, two I was scared he’d leave me, last I didn’t want him to tell my mom.
Everything was so stressful school, home, and that relationship. Adan sneaking in made me really uncomfortable and scared. I didn’t put a stop to it so everything just escalated. My sister and her friend found out, and he started to want to get touchy with me and started with the whole “we are ready to have sex”. I said no to him for a month before letting myself give in, he would say all kinds of things. He’d say he loved me, that if I loved him I would, that our relationship would get better and more. I didn’t fall for any of it, I’d say things like, thats not what I base love on and that I wasn’t ready that I wanted to have sex once I got married’ and to please wait. After a few weeks Adan said he wanted to talk to me. We got together and he said that he was a man and had needs and that if I wouldn’t satisfy them then there was nothing left he could do except find someone who would. Of course he tried saying it the nicest way possible, and we fought, I cried. After that I would just think of that conversation, I started saying to myself that I didn’t want to be with someone that would treat me like that and just be with someone else when ever he wanted to. That thought was overtaken by thinking that all I had to do to keep him with me and not have to be alone again was to have sex with him.
Please dont get me wrong I love my daughter so very much, she is the light and force, strength, beauty, life, effort, and passion of everything I do. Without even thinking everything I did was for my daughter the best I could do for her in my eyes and I don’t know what I’d do without her, she just keeps me going. The thing is that I now realize how cruel her father was to me. Even though I have forgiven him I still think of how he knew what I wanted to do in my life he know that I didn't want to disappoint my mom. Anyways, I had sex with him and that night I cried no one knew until now I guess whomever reads this. After that one time I just wanted him off my back I asked him to wait until after my Quinceanera. I really just wanted to think of what I was doing, I wanted time. Adan said yes but would push me and push me to have sex and when I’d push back he’d get angry and we’d fight so there came a day when I wouldn’t push back. Im not saying it was hell or anything I did enjoy being with him he was gentle in a way, I’d just have to put the bad memories in the back of my head of him not listening to what i was saying. When I was young I was sexualy abused by my step-father and that experience made me really good at putting things in the back of my head and forgetting, I told my mom four years after being abuse and thats when he was kicked out of the house and our life’s. I had counseling and so did my mom and sister, its a different story but I feel like it had a lot to do with letting myself deal with Adan.
For many reasons I felt I needed to leave my mom. She had a new boyfriend and I felt mad because she brought him into the house too soon after telling her about the abuse. Adan was there telling me he would take care of me. About 3 months of dating Adan he had to move to Denver because of a job. When he left I felt happy, I didn’t have to lie to my mom or worry about anything or stress out. Then a few weeks later he came to visit me and kept telling me everything would be better if I went with him. Adan would tell me he would take care of me and we’d be happy. After a while I thought he was right, I liked the idea of leaving and living on my own. Once I told Adan I’d leave with him we decided I’d have to get pregnant because that way my mom wouldn’t call the cops on him because she’d want him to take care of the baby. Since I was 15 and he was almost 19 we didn’t want the cops involved. A few weeks later he told me he was going to rent a nice hotel room and we could see each other and try to get pregnant. Adan would tell me he wanted it to be special and that made me feel good but I was scared. I felt ready and good enough to be a mom, plus i wanted to leave my mom. the situation was that i didnt feel super safe with adan i felt he lied to me about everything and i knew he wanted to keep me to himself since he took my virginity.
Nerves ran through my whole body every time I was with Adan. My mom didn't want him near me, she always had the feeling we had sex and she knew he was a bad influence. Even feeling that way she was too caught up in her own life. I don't want to ever say that what I did is her fault because I knew what I was doing. Its all my fault because I could of taken a different choice and looked at life differently or at least realize how mean Adan really was. Either way I didn't want to disappoint my mom or for her to find out I hung out with Adan because she trusted me. All at the same time though I wished she'd find out so that i would be stop. Just being around Adan I’d get bad butterflies. I felt so mean and that I was all wrong and he didn't care he'd tell me, she didn't care and I deserved more. After having sex and him finishing (cumming) in me he told me to put my feet over my head to make sure I got pregnant and I did it. Then 1 month later I took my fourth pregnancy test and it finally came out positive. Right when I took it I took a picture and sent it to Adan. He kept the picture on his phone and was really happy. My friend Faye was with me and read the pregnancy test for me and I really was happy.
For some time I didn't eat or talk or go walk my dog like I usually did. During this whole process my mom was planning a quinceanera for me. I felt really bad because I knew I was pregnant and I didn't want my mom wasting her money. One day I told her that I didn't want a quinceanera and she asked why and I told her that I didn't deserve it. My mom looked me straight in the eye and said sweetie whatever happens or whatever you did you deserved a quinceanera. Every day I felt horrible waking up and going to see dresses and this and that. About 2 weeks before the party I finally started feeling better and then my family started to arrive. Everyone looked at me with a proud expression on their face. I felt like a horrible person. The day of the quinceanera I had someone do my make up and hair and everyone was ready. My aunt and mom made some chicken wrapped in bacon and cheese with rice and salad. We ate and danced and I had alot of fun. The next day I opened my presents and most were really nice tight shirts and jeans. Every present I opened I thought of how I was going to have a huge belly in a few months and that I probably wasn't even going to be living with my mom. When I was a little girl my mom cleaned the house of a man named David. After two years of knowing him he got married to a very pretty women named Estela. When he and her got their house together my mom would clean their house and then Estela decided to get pregnant. When baby Hayden was born my mom would babysit him. After a couple of years Estela and David had another baby and I was that baby’s babysitter his name is Starks. During these years we really got to know each other, every now and then we would go with them on trips. This family is a very big part to my life and how I've grown up. Hayden, David and Estela went to my quincenera and when I got to the present that was from them I found a note. Estela had written the note that made me break down completely. The letter said things like how proud she was and how far I was going to get and how sweet and smart I was. She talked about how I just keep to myself to not complicate my life involving a guy or drama I didn't need. I just thought to myself, if only she knew, if only everyone there knew I was 2 months pregnant.
When time passed after the quinceanera Adan started talking about living together. He wanted me to move to Denver with him as soon as possible. I told him that was fine, we just needed to tell my mom. Adan told me that I needed to go to Denver and from there I could call and tell her because she could get so mad that she could hurt the baby. When i was young my mom would hit me, we rented a lot and i think thats why she'd do it, she was a single mom and didn't see another way to handle our situation. With all the ideas Adan would put in my head I started having doubts about how I wanted to tell my mom. At first I always thought both of us would tell her and then he’d help me pack and we would say bye to my mom and sister and we’d drive away. Im not sure how or when the plan changed in my head, Adan would never mention himself it was always you can. I never put a stop to anything I’d just agree, the only thing I would argue with him was that I wanted to tell my mom first. We would fight so much about that until like with everything III agreed. One day I let my sister go to a friends house since I was watching her I had to figure out where she could stay for me to leave. I remember crying harder than ever when my sister left the house gave her a hug goodbye but she didn't know it was goodbye, I was leaving her. I told my mom that I was going to stay at my best friends house, and I left. The taxi took me to the Greyhound bus stop to catch the bus to Denver. I paid for everything with my saving and when I got of the bus Adan was there. We took a local bus to the town where his aunt lived and from there had to walk 15 minutes.
Everyday that went by I thought of different ways to tell my mom I was pregnant and thought of her response. All of the way I could say it seemed mean and disrespectful, I’d think I already screwed up by getting pregnant now I’m going to make it worse by telling her over the phone. I was going to tell my mom about something huge for the whole family over a phone call. Every step I took felt wrong I felt pathetic and tired and dumb. Even though I knew what was the best thing I could do which was leave and go back home. I couldn't because Adan would leave me and after everything I couldn't be a single mom, I didn't have a job or anything. after four days since leaving my house i called my mom and told her. i told her i was in denver and that i was pregnant. my mom told me to go home to have an abortion and more but not until later she told me how disappointed and sad she was but never
The relationship I had with my mom wasn’t great ever since she started dating the man she was with during that time, I just always felt she was a little to crazy about him and didn’t pay the attention she should have paid to me or my sister. Even though I don’t want to blame my mom for anything I wish she could have taken the time to pick me up after my rehearsals for a play I was in. Adan would want to go, or be sent by my mom to pick me up in his car or her’s. Thats when we started talking, he treated me so nicely and was making me see how my mom was wrong but he liked picking me up and then, he started saying he wanted to be my boyfriend. Adan would sweet talk me all the time and after 6 weeks we called each other a couple. My mom didn’t like it and she would be told that I had probably already had sex with him, and that he wasn’t a good guy. Of course I didnt listen to her and I hadn’t had sex with him, I kept telling myself that I could handle it. After some time of dating we “broke up” because my mom was freaking out but we would still see each other and thats when it came to him to sneak into my moms house when she was gone and after one time he did it, I wasn’t able to stop him. For one I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, two I was scared he’d leave me, last I didn’t want him to tell my mom.
Everything was so stressful school, home, and that relationship. Adan sneaking in made me really uncomfortable and scared. I didn’t put a stop to it so everything just escalated. My sister and her friend found out, and he started to want to get touchy with me and started with the whole “we are ready to have sex”. I said no to him for a month before letting myself give in, he would say all kinds of things. He’d say he loved me, that if I loved him I would, that our relationship would get better and more. I didn’t fall for any of it, I’d say things like, thats not what I base love on and that I wasn’t ready that I wanted to have sex once I got married’ and to please wait. After a few weeks Adan said he wanted to talk to me. We got together and he said that he was a man and had needs and that if I wouldn’t satisfy them then there was nothing left he could do except find someone who would. Of course he tried saying it the nicest way possible, and we fought, I cried. After that I would just think of that conversation, I started saying to myself that I didn’t want to be with someone that would treat me like that and just be with someone else when ever he wanted to. That thought was overtaken by thinking that all I had to do to keep him with me and not have to be alone again was to have sex with him.
Please dont get me wrong I love my daughter so very much, she is the light and force, strength, beauty, life, effort, and passion of everything I do. Without even thinking everything I did was for my daughter the best I could do for her in my eyes and I don’t know what I’d do without her, she just keeps me going. The thing is that I now realize how cruel her father was to me. Even though I have forgiven him I still think of how he knew what I wanted to do in my life he know that I didn't want to disappoint my mom. Anyways, I had sex with him and that night I cried no one knew until now I guess whomever reads this. After that one time I just wanted him off my back I asked him to wait until after my Quinceanera. I really just wanted to think of what I was doing, I wanted time. Adan said yes but would push me and push me to have sex and when I’d push back he’d get angry and we’d fight so there came a day when I wouldn’t push back. Im not saying it was hell or anything I did enjoy being with him he was gentle in a way, I’d just have to put the bad memories in the back of my head of him not listening to what i was saying. When I was young I was sexualy abused by my step-father and that experience made me really good at putting things in the back of my head and forgetting, I told my mom four years after being abuse and thats when he was kicked out of the house and our life’s. I had counseling and so did my mom and sister, its a different story but I feel like it had a lot to do with letting myself deal with Adan.
For many reasons I felt I needed to leave my mom. She had a new boyfriend and I felt mad because she brought him into the house too soon after telling her about the abuse. Adan was there telling me he would take care of me. About 3 months of dating Adan he had to move to Denver because of a job. When he left I felt happy, I didn’t have to lie to my mom or worry about anything or stress out. Then a few weeks later he came to visit me and kept telling me everything would be better if I went with him. Adan would tell me he would take care of me and we’d be happy. After a while I thought he was right, I liked the idea of leaving and living on my own. Once I told Adan I’d leave with him we decided I’d have to get pregnant because that way my mom wouldn’t call the cops on him because she’d want him to take care of the baby. Since I was 15 and he was almost 19 we didn’t want the cops involved. A few weeks later he told me he was going to rent a nice hotel room and we could see each other and try to get pregnant. Adan would tell me he wanted it to be special and that made me feel good but I was scared. I felt ready and good enough to be a mom, plus i wanted to leave my mom. the situation was that i didnt feel super safe with adan i felt he lied to me about everything and i knew he wanted to keep me to himself since he took my virginity.
Nerves ran through my whole body every time I was with Adan. My mom didn't want him near me, she always had the feeling we had sex and she knew he was a bad influence. Even feeling that way she was too caught up in her own life. I don't want to ever say that what I did is her fault because I knew what I was doing. Its all my fault because I could of taken a different choice and looked at life differently or at least realize how mean Adan really was. Either way I didn't want to disappoint my mom or for her to find out I hung out with Adan because she trusted me. All at the same time though I wished she'd find out so that i would be stop. Just being around Adan I’d get bad butterflies. I felt so mean and that I was all wrong and he didn't care he'd tell me, she didn't care and I deserved more. After having sex and him finishing (cumming) in me he told me to put my feet over my head to make sure I got pregnant and I did it. Then 1 month later I took my fourth pregnancy test and it finally came out positive. Right when I took it I took a picture and sent it to Adan. He kept the picture on his phone and was really happy. My friend Faye was with me and read the pregnancy test for me and I really was happy.
For some time I didn't eat or talk or go walk my dog like I usually did. During this whole process my mom was planning a quinceanera for me. I felt really bad because I knew I was pregnant and I didn't want my mom wasting her money. One day I told her that I didn't want a quinceanera and she asked why and I told her that I didn't deserve it. My mom looked me straight in the eye and said sweetie whatever happens or whatever you did you deserved a quinceanera. Every day I felt horrible waking up and going to see dresses and this and that. About 2 weeks before the party I finally started feeling better and then my family started to arrive. Everyone looked at me with a proud expression on their face. I felt like a horrible person. The day of the quinceanera I had someone do my make up and hair and everyone was ready. My aunt and mom made some chicken wrapped in bacon and cheese with rice and salad. We ate and danced and I had alot of fun. The next day I opened my presents and most were really nice tight shirts and jeans. Every present I opened I thought of how I was going to have a huge belly in a few months and that I probably wasn't even going to be living with my mom. When I was a little girl my mom cleaned the house of a man named David. After two years of knowing him he got married to a very pretty women named Estela. When he and her got their house together my mom would clean their house and then Estela decided to get pregnant. When baby Hayden was born my mom would babysit him. After a couple of years Estela and David had another baby and I was that baby’s babysitter his name is Starks. During these years we really got to know each other, every now and then we would go with them on trips. This family is a very big part to my life and how I've grown up. Hayden, David and Estela went to my quincenera and when I got to the present that was from them I found a note. Estela had written the note that made me break down completely. The letter said things like how proud she was and how far I was going to get and how sweet and smart I was. She talked about how I just keep to myself to not complicate my life involving a guy or drama I didn't need. I just thought to myself, if only she knew, if only everyone there knew I was 2 months pregnant.
When time passed after the quinceanera Adan started talking about living together. He wanted me to move to Denver with him as soon as possible. I told him that was fine, we just needed to tell my mom. Adan told me that I needed to go to Denver and from there I could call and tell her because she could get so mad that she could hurt the baby. When i was young my mom would hit me, we rented a lot and i think thats why she'd do it, she was a single mom and didn't see another way to handle our situation. With all the ideas Adan would put in my head I started having doubts about how I wanted to tell my mom. At first I always thought both of us would tell her and then he’d help me pack and we would say bye to my mom and sister and we’d drive away. Im not sure how or when the plan changed in my head, Adan would never mention himself it was always you can. I never put a stop to anything I’d just agree, the only thing I would argue with him was that I wanted to tell my mom first. We would fight so much about that until like with everything III agreed. One day I let my sister go to a friends house since I was watching her I had to figure out where she could stay for me to leave. I remember crying harder than ever when my sister left the house gave her a hug goodbye but she didn't know it was goodbye, I was leaving her. I told my mom that I was going to stay at my best friends house, and I left. The taxi took me to the Greyhound bus stop to catch the bus to Denver. I paid for everything with my saving and when I got of the bus Adan was there. We took a local bus to the town where his aunt lived and from there had to walk 15 minutes.
Everyday that went by I thought of different ways to tell my mom I was pregnant and thought of her response. All of the way I could say it seemed mean and disrespectful, I’d think I already screwed up by getting pregnant now I’m going to make it worse by telling her over the phone. I was going to tell my mom about something huge for the whole family over a phone call. Every step I took felt wrong I felt pathetic and tired and dumb. Even though I knew what was the best thing I could do which was leave and go back home. I couldn't because Adan would leave me and after everything I couldn't be a single mom, I didn't have a job or anything. after four days since leaving my house i called my mom and told her. i told her i was in denver and that i was pregnant. my mom told me to go home to have an abortion and more but not until later she told me how disappointed and sad she was but never